Mar 01
Photography: Fred Phillips
As I’m preparing to meet a number of couples over the next few weeks, I thought it might be quite useful to make a list of things to think about when you’re starting to construct the ceremony. We’ll add to the list as time goes on.
- Think about the ‘where’ of the ceremony. As humanist celebrants we have great freedom to conduct a ceremony virtually anywhere, as long as in my judgement it’s safe and dignified. So far I’ve conducted ceremonies in a garden, on an island, on a pier as well as in a huge variety of hotels and castles around Scotland. Remember that for a legal humanist wedding the venue doesn’t have to be licensed for marriages (as is the case where a Registrar is conducting the marriage). Remeber though that if the ceremony is to take place outdoors, what do you do if it rains? If you retreat indoors (carefully planned in advance of course) then that’s fine, as long as it’s at the same address. If you need to go down the road to the local village hall or pub, then we’d need to clear this arrangement with the Registrar in advance. This is because the Registrar needs to know where as well as when the wedding is to take place.
- I usually supply every couple with one or two ‘templates’ to work on. These aren’t recommendations of how your ceremony should be but examples to react to, to pull apart, change or to throw out!
- Think of who’s going to take part – maybe you have friends or relatives who might do a reading, or who want to say a few words, this is fine, but it’s usually best if it’s scripted beforehand so I can get everything into the ceremony beforehand, including the names of those who’re taking part. And that way, you have a complete souvenir of everything that’s taken place, too keep alongside the photographs!
- Readings, poems and the vows and promises are the main ingredients, and apart from the legal bits which I have to say, can be pretty much what you choose.
- Where are you going to stand? Because we’re not in church, and this is a non-religious wedding you don’t have to stand with your back to your friends and family. As Bride and Groom you can be standing side-by-side where your guests can see you.
So your guests can see you!